It’s a different type of lost. It’s the kind where you feel as though you’ve lost something you’ve never truly had but you swear it was yours. It’s visceral. And I think for as long as you can recall, what belonged to you, should belong to you, will stay haunting. To lose something that no amount of wealth or success could buy back, that nobody could help to distract or replace. To lose something so transparent but permanent. It’s different.
Makes the stomach hurt
I just hope I’m either in my car on the way to her house or she’s in hers on the way to me when she wants to get any if those things. Because damn do I fuckin miss her already and I want to love her so damn bad and I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE HER.
I have no control over this now, all I can do is pray.
I gave her this option, choice. Choice of any man to do anything she pleases.
I’m a fuckin idiot.
See y’all when I have my own place.
My life will be better from here on, a complete 100% turn around. I will provide a life for myself but I will not LIVE unless she is next to me every sundown and and sunrise.